DISCLAIMER: I am not a writer and have no journalistic experience. I'm merely transferring my thoughts into words. If anyone chooses to read, that's great. Otherwise it's more of a therapy for me, as I am a thinker, not a writer. Have at it.
To borrow a phrase from the Grateful Dead (not my favorite band) "What a long strange trip it's been." That phrase seems very apropos to what has been happening. A very strange trip indeed.
First off my wife and I decided to leave Las Vegas where we lived for the last 8 years, and, leave the US and move to Merida, Mexico. Neither of us have done anything like this. We have moved or relocated before but nothing to this extent. She is a Mexican citizen which made it easier for me to get temporary residency without having to jump through all of the income requirement hoops. Basically show proof of marriage to a Mexican National and that's it. The whole COVID thing made this decision to move easier as we were both laid off from our jobs and forced into early retirement. I had a nice musical gig on the strip (Las Vegas blvd.) at the Venetian Hotel and she had some interesting jobs but they eventually were driving her crazy. So that was another motivating factor for us to move. I didn't want her to have to work anymore.
Moving to another country especially one like Mexico is not for the faint of heart. I had visited many times, but visiting isn't like living. I didn't know, I swear. I just thought that with our passive income we could live in Merida without having to work, which due to the low cost of living is very doable. So that part is okay. As much as I try to deny it, the move was difficult. For me especially. New language, new environment, third world or undeveloped country. My wife (Rimma) made the transitions the right way. I didn't. She came from an undeveloped country to a first world country. I however went the opposite way. I'm finding it very difficult to deal with the myriad problems down here.
IFRASTRUCTURE? WHAT'S THAT?
I can tell you what it's not. It's not Mexico. Infrastructure is a bad word down here. Why? Because it means that money that has been appropriated for a certain thing has to be used for that particular thing. But that never really works out and the money always finds it's way into the wrong pockets and invariably nothing gets taken care of or repaired. Still can't drink the water, you don't dare have a nice car and drive on the horrible roads, don't walk on the sidewalks. Sidewalks? What are those?
Infrastructure is a bad word, I'm telling you.
Our plan was to bring our car down here. Still had low mileage and ran perfectly. But Mexico has this bizarre rule, law, regulation, whatever you want to call it, that in order to bring a US car and keep it in Mexico the car has to have been manufactured in either Canada, the US or Mexico. Why, I don't know. Might have something to do with NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement). Ours was not manufactured in any of these places. Can't bring the car and have it normalized into Mexico. Have to sell it and buy something in Merida. That hurts financially because cars are not cheap like everything else in Mexico. So we had to take it up the ass on the car deal.
Trying to find an honest person selling a car down here is another thing altogether. Kind of like Infrastructure, Honest is also a bad word down here. Not a part of their vocabulary.
CAN YOU SAY MECHANIC? CAN YOU SAY HONEST MECHANIC?
Another huge problem. We found a car we liked. People down here don't like you to take the car you are buying to "Your" mechanic to have it checked out. Mechanics down here tend to steal parts and use them for various other reasons, so getting a seller to allow you to take the car to "Your" mechanic is something that is frowned upon. The dealer we bought the car from said he would have "HIS" mechanic go over the car before we bought it. In this interim time period we did find a good honest mechanic recommended by a rental agency. This guy worked for the rental agency and had to keep the rentals up to standard, so he was good. Long story short, the sellers mechanic basically took parts of the engine apart claiming that he fixed certain things and left shit just hanging literally, or not put back properly altogether, according to the rental agency mechanic. He showed us the shit that was just hanging and gave us the reasons why the car had developed new problems. We fell in love with the rental mechanic and told the seller he needed to dump his mechanic. And we had a warranty which we chose not to use as each time we used this Dickhead's mechanic something else would go wrong. Live and learn.
REALTORS
Realtors down here do not have to be licensed. You can sell or rent out real estate without a license. We were dropped by two realtors solely because we started looking at properties with OTHER realtors. Big no no. And one of them didn't even bother to call us. Just ghosted us. That happens a lot down here in all aspects of business. Someone tells you I'll be there and then becomes a no show. We finally found a good person to work with. Oh and nothing down here is move in ready. Really difficult to get a place properly cleaned prior to the move in date. The owners place it on the market "as is" and you have to eat the cleaning costs. We were still cleaning a month after we moved in. And, unfurnished means unfurnished. No refrigerator and no stove, and washer and dryer are luxuries.
DRIVING
Along with Realtors, drivers really don't have to have any training. It's not at all like in the US where you have to take a written exam and an actual driving test. Here, if you have a family member who might be able to teach you, that's what happens. In the US there are driver education and driver training classes you can take in High School, then apply for your learners permit and then take the tests for the license. Not here. No tests. The family member or a friend teaches you and you go to the local OXXO (Mexican version of 7-11) or an actual 7-11 and pay for your license. As far as the latter that's at least the way it seems. These people do not know how to drive.
People do not no how to merge, take turns at a stop or alto sign, share the road, or have any of the basic common sense skills required to drive. Why? Because there is no real training. It's the Wild West. And they drive fast, real fast. I guess if you don't know what you are doing you might as well do it as fast as you can and get it over with.
Back to infrastructure for a moment. The roads or streets are an abomination. Potholes everywhere, and they use speed bumps instead of signal lights to slow you down. Guess it's cheaper to put in speed bumps than signal lights. But maybe the real reason is that the government has a deal worked out with US auto makers that if they put in a lot of speed bumps and leave the potholes as they are, the idiots down here will destroy their cars sooner and put more money in the automakers pockets, who then in turn put money into the Mexican government. Seems logical because these people do not seem to care about their cars. It makes no sense to have a nice luxury car when you can not feel the luxuriously smooth ride because of the streets. But some people do have nice cars. It's sheer lunacy.
VIENE VIENE
Every store or supermarket you visit that has a parking lot, have these self appointed traffic directors or parking specialists there to help you navigate the parking lot. Listen for the whistle or the yelling of Viene Viene, which I think means Come Come. This specialist will direct you either into or out of a parking space. And you should tip them for their services. They are everywhere.
THE BAG PEOPLE NOT THE BAG LADY
In the US we used to have bag boys in grocery stores. Well here they have Bag People. And not boys or girls. Older retirement age adults. And yes you should also tip these people, even though they are old and slow as hell and impede the progress of the check-out line.
MORE PEOPLE THAN CARS AT A RED LIGHT
What? What does this mean? It means that when you come to a red light and sit at the intersection you are bombarded by people trying to sell you something. Usually it's worthless shit like maybe a pen that they will place on your windshield as they walk by. Your first inclination is to take the pen and say thank you. But don't. After they have walked down the row of cars placing said pens, they will work there way back and retrieve said pens. Don't take them without giving them money or you will have a problem on your hands.
CALL THE COPS OR DON'T CALL THE COPS
The police here are the finest in the world??? And obviously come from the best police academy training in the world??? Funny thing is, with all of the inexperienced drivers and speeders, I don't think I have ever seen a cop go after anybody. If they do go after someone it's probably for other reasons and may be drug related. They could increase their revenue ten-fold if they would make some traffic stops and issue some tickets but all you see is them in their cars driving way below the speed limit with all of their lights on. I think they just like to show off. Their lights are always flashing so how would you know if they were pulling you over or not. Guess it's written into the Constitution of the Wild West that "Don't worry, cops will not pull you over." People just speed by and continue making their highly illegal lane changes right in front of them.
Oh, did I say lane changes? Well I meant move from one side of the road to the other. There are no lanes here. Well there used to be because you can see a faint outline of what was once the white paint designating the lanes. But those were from probably twenty years ago. They do last a long time though, but these crafty savvy drivers here have them memorized so there would be no reason for the transportation ministry to come out and do any repainting. The drivers already know what's going on.
The drivers who don't know what is going on are people like me who can't see the lane markers, or the signal lights that are blocked or covered by tree growth that should be removed. And driving at night is almost impossible. The street lights are amber, not white and bright. You can't fucking see where you are going.
BUENOS DIAS, BUENAS TARDES, BUENAS NOCHES
For some reason it seems ingrained in peoples minds that they need to say "Hi" to every person they encounter. Is it real or is it not. Where I come from I do not feel compelled to address everyone I cross paths with, but here it appears they do. Like there will be some form of punishment if they don't. And how do you know who to say it to and who not to. Most don't even make eye contact. They kind of mumble, and drop S's like crazy. Buen Dia instead of Buenos Dias. And some people even take it further and just say Dia. It's again like an obligatory thing that is in their programming. I was sitting at a table having my coffee and some dude walks by and looks and says "Provecho." Which kind of means enjoy your meal. Who the fuck is this guy telling me to enjoy my meal. I'll enjoy it if I want and I don't need anyone telling me to do so. Just another one of these cultural morays that drive me crazy.
BOTTOM LINE
Don't know how I feel about this place. Don't know how I feel about living here. Gonna have to stick it out for a little longer as we agreed to try it for a year. Maybe move on to greener pastures after that. Who knows.